A Sincere Thank You
This is Ben, here. My wife has been posting messages to our blog for some time now, but I wanted to take some time to share some personal thoughts as well as my appreciation for those around me. Sometimes in life, a man will face challenges that cause him to do some serious thinking, to take stock of his life, and maybe even draw closer to his Maker. The past 5 weeks have been a time like that for me. I have been out of commission for a good long time now, and I can tell you it has been a struggle. At times I have been unable to walk, unable to eat, and vomiting uncontrollably. I have had tubes and drains running in and out of much of my body, and IVs up and down each arm. I have taken two ambulance rides, been to three hospitals, and been seen by countless doctors and nurses. The infection in my gut was widespread and has lead to multiple absesses, cat scans, and non-stop anti-biotics. I have spent almost three weeks in the hospital, and have lost almost thirty pounds not being able to keep food down.
The very worst of it all is imagining what might be if something went wrong. I couldn't bear the thought of not being there for my wife, my kids. Without trying to be melodramatic, this is where the unknown becomes very real. It can be intimidating; it can paralyze you with fear. But I have found that these are the times in which God loves to work. I started asking God for one thing (besides healing): I wanted him to use this experience to work His character in me. I had a lot of time on my hands to talk to Him, to plead with Him, to share my heart and listen for His voice. Much of that time is deeply personal, but there are a few things that I want to share for the glory of His Name. The Lord is not lazy or apathetic about His love for His children. Read II Samuel chapter 22 and see what I am talking about.
My father took the time to read this to me in the hospital, and it really stuck with me during the dark times. David wrote this after being saved from his enemies (who had pursued him relentlessly). He describes this time with great detail in verses 5 and 6: "The waves of death swirled about me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the rave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me." It was a dark time for David to say the least. But then comes the powerful part; watch how God responds to his cry for help (verses 8 through 20): "The earth trembled and quaked, the foundations of the heavens shook; they trembled because he was angry. Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it. He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet... Out of the brightness of his presence bolts of lightning blazed forth. The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded. He shot arrows and scattered the enemies, bolts of lightning and routed them..." This is no half-hearted response to David's plea. God is a zealous and protective father. He comes to David's rescue like a father would do for his child...with burning zeal.
As my dad read this chapter to me, I felt that God was speaking this word directly to me. The truth is that the enemy is out to take my life, steal my joy, and destroy every gift and blessing God has given me. The Bible says that where I am weak, God is made strong. This experience of mine has embodied this principle. When I laid in bed weak and empty, I had no choice but to appeal to God for help. While I know God doesn't enjoy our suffering, I believe that He cherishes the opportunity to show Himself strong. When there is no place left to turn, we have no choice but to turn to Him. When my strength has run out, I can only rely on His. God is good. I don't understand all His ways, but I am confident in His goodness.
Another thing He has provided me during this difficult time is a sea of believers to stand with me, and in some cases, for me. I am deeply blessed by those who have prayed for me and family. I found out in the hospital that people were continuously covering me in prayer. They added me to prayer chains, held special prayer meetings on my behalf, and visited me in the hospital to pray over me personally. My four-year-old daughter, Chloe, insisted that I be prayed for wherever she went. I heard of believers in other countries praying for me! Imagine someone who doesn't even know me calling out to God on my behalf. People have brought meals, taken care of my children, and blessed my wife and family in many ways. This, my friends, is the body of Christ. To all of you who have been Christ to us... Thank you, thank you, thank you! May God bless you!
They are adorable even when they are crying and uncooperative. The kids went back to a semi-normal schedule this week except for Memorial Day. We spent Memorial Day with Ben's family at a rained out barbeque. The food was still delicious and the company was superb. Tirzah had the girl cousins in her room for most of the day playing school. She was a tough teacher and made sure no one got out of line. Chloe came home singing most of her ABC's backwards.